The last few days have been transformative none-the-less. I have learned a lot about myself. Things that have lied dormant for years have come rushing back to the surface in order to be healed. I was able to reflect on things that were always there waiting to be acknowledged. I know people can come together, but I also realize things are about choices and priorities. It saddens me that in some instances only death, a funeral, and graduation can bring people together.

“Overstand” it’s about more than a gathering, a turn up, an amusement park, a BBQ, or a Mother’s Day dinner. Rather unspoken misunderstandings and differences from years ago or recent that could be rectified through honest conversations, accountability, and emotional maturity. Being honest enough to say, “I love you, we cool, but it’s still some things that need to be addressed here.” Perception is merely that, you want to know where you stand with someone ask, not only ask, but seek context.

I reflect on the innocence of childhood, comradery, community, and how now in hindsight I value those moments. As a middle child and a self-proclaimed peacemaker, in this season of my life I no longer desire to play that role. It’s disappointing and requires holding too much space for people, things, emotions, and misunderstandings that are not mine. I value all my individual relationships in my life and chime in as I see fit. However, I know life happens to all of us and I take nothing personal, not even someone needing their space or privacy. I’ve held space as a coach in various capacities, I’ve held space as a friend, I’ve held space as a sister, I’ve held space as a cousin, I’ve held space as an aunt, I’ve held space as a niece, I’ve held space as a mentor, I’ve held space in the various roles I’ve played, and now I just want to hold space for ME. I thought I was doing it already with distance, travel, gifts, and perceived self-care, but energetically I was still very much invested. Part of my identity was wrapped in my “capacity to carry”.

This past full moon in Scorpio did its job, ironically around Mother’s Day. Though I love everyone and I harbor no ill feelings towards anyone, I must press on choosing me unapologetically. A weight is lifted off my shoulder as I write that; It’s a common thread in various communities, families, friendships, and relationships of all kinds. Hopefully this truth resonates with someone to ensure their experience is valid, their feelings are valid, and they are not alone. “Hence, you ain’t the only one”.